3 Dating Tips That Will Skyrocket Your Success!

Hey Champs,
Today I want to tell you about 3 dating tips that you should know before you go on a date with a girl. Over years of dating, I found some essential and helpful things that I would tell a friend before they go on a date.

1) 3 Dating Tips – It Starts With Your Mindset

Number one gives you a real mind shift. And this, simply by changing “I hope that she will like me.” to “Let’s see if I will like her.” in your mind. That’s all. Let me explain.

Most guys always think, “What can I do to make her like me?”, “How should I behave?”, “What should I say?” etc.
But it’s a whole different perspective if you change it to you being the main character, which you should be in your life anyway.

This is one of those mind shifts that will alter how we see the world and how we act in it. And this one tells you that you are the price, not her.

You won’t jump through her hoops.
You won’t try to say the things that she wants to hear.
You won’t be a mindless minion trying to convince her you are a nice man.

Women can sense this. And if she senses that you’re trying hard to convince her of you, it will turn her off. So even if it’s hard for you because maybe you don’t have anyone that you’re seeing at the moment, if you have this mindset of “Let’s see if I will like her,” you’ll be a thousand times more attractive to a girl than if you would try to make her like you. Plus, you will be more relaxed during the whole thing.

But this is the reason why dating tips experts often recommend that you should not date one girl exclusively if you’re dating at all.

If you know you have options, you will present yourself in a whole different way. You basically communicate that you want her, but you don’t need her.
This will lead to a very powerful thing in the attraction game: outcome independence.

How It Works On A Subconscious Level

Most men try to understand this on a superficial level and why it is attractive to a woman, but it goes even deeper, on a subconscious level.
It shows that you’re not desperate. You must have not just options but also positive experiences if you behave in that way.

It comes down to this:
I’m not jumping through your hoops. I treat you in a good way, I’m kind to you, but I’m not trying to make you like me.

It shows that you’re not desperate. It indicates that other girls must have chosen you in the past (if that’s correct or not).
And this is where proven psychological and social phenomena, like social proof and pre-selection, come into play. Very powerful things that are often underestimated in day-to-day life, since they are often working on a subconscious level.

And probably the most unattractive to a woman is if you are self-depriving yourself. Statements like, “Yeah, no woman likes me,” or “I’ve been single for such a long time, trying to find a girlfriend,”—it’s stuff like this that tells the girl she would be better off with some other dude.
You have to convey that you’re choosing who’s in your life and that you’re picky. It means that you know your worth and what you want. That is very attractive to her. Chances increase that she will like you.

And if she won’t like the real you, who is not trying to impress her, you will not enjoy her company anyway. So there’s no point in trying to make her like you and pretend to be this or that. That’s why those pickup lines where you pretend to be someone you are not have lost popularity in the last years and decades, and improving yourself to actually be that man has become the more popular approach these days.

What Does A Dating Tips Coach Say To This?

Not everybody knows that Mark Manson started his career as a dating tips coach. He wrote a book called “Models,” where he gives men dating tips and lifestyle in general. It’s a great book, a fantastic read, and one of my recommendations for you.

In his book “Models,” he talks about seeing it as a treasure hunt. He explains that rejection is just a part of the game.
No matter how good you are or how experienced you become, it will always be a natural part of it, and you have to show yourself and accept the fact that most women are not super compatible with you. And that you would not have a super good time with them anyway.

So, your “mission” is to find the ones that are riding on the same wave as you do. And the earlier you find out which ones are compatible with you, the better it is. You save energy and time.
He calls this process of finding compatibility “polarization.”.

In “Models,” he writes:

“Instead of thinking, “I wonder if she’ll like me,” think, “I wonder what she’s like?”
Instead of thinking, “I hope she doesn’t reject me,” think, “I wonder if we’ll have an adventure together?”
The beauty is that whether she falls in love with you on the spot or she throws a drink in your face… you’ve succeeded. You’ve found out the truth.”

Mark Manson in “Models“

Mark makes a good point about getting to the truth as quickly as possible.

Ok, enough about the mindset for now, let’s go to the next point in my dating tips for you.

2) Kinesthetics (KINO)

Number two is “Kino,” and maybe you’ve heard of it before.

So if you both like each other, it’s still up to you as the man to initiate the next steps.
Don’t wait for big signals from her end. She could be waiting for you to make the next move the whole time and just not conveying this to you in an obvious manner.

Obviously, women are not all the same.
Some women will show it very openly to you if they like you.
Some like you, but will not show it at all.
Some won’t like you of course, which is normal as I told you before.
And then there are women, who have not decided how much they like you yet.

It’s a wide spectrum, you can never know. You could always interpret situations wrongly.

So, as a man, you have to initiate the next moves.
But how do we bring it to the next step?

Connect On A Physical Level

Perhaps your minds have already connected in some way. You are on the same wavelength, so to speak.
The next step is for your bodies to connect. And this is where Kino comes into play.

Kino is short for kinesthetics. And in this context, it means (light) touches.
It’s a real balance act. Don’t come off as creepy! Don’t overstep boundaries, of course!
But it’s beneficial to connect to her body with light touches here and there.

You start with appropriate safe zones. Spots that are not controversial in any way.
A touch on her shoulders when you say something, a little pat on the back when you have a good point, or a little nudge on her arm when you make a joke. There are many possibilities.

This way, she will get used to your touches and the connection between your bodies. Again, it is also working on a subconscious level. She doesn’t just like you, and that’s why you are close to her and touch her, but the fact that you do those things also makes her interpret it in a way like, “Hey, I must like this guy and have a connection with him, if we’re already getting this close.” It sets you apart from an interaction with a random person.

When you go to someplace like a coffee shop, always try to sit next to her.
Don’t sit opposite each other. It’s one of the golden rules of dating tips. You can much easier touch her and do Kino that way.
Some experts say it’s also beneficial to sit this way, again, on a subconscious level, since you are both facing the same direction, instead of facing each other like in a confrontation. It symbolizes that you are going the same way now and are on the same page. It’s much easier to connect physically and psychologically that way.

Obviously, don’t overdo things and absolutely accept limits and boundaries. Even subtle hints play a big role here, and if you make her feel uncomfortable, the whole thing could go down the drain.

Scientifically Backed Up

Maybe you’ve heard about some of those studies where waitresses get tipped more when they implement Kino in their servings and touch the customers lightly.

Here are the conclusions of one study:

“The study concluded that touch can influence people without them realizing it, and that males and females react similarly to unobtrusive and neutral touches.”

April H. Crusco, Christopher G. Wetzel in “The Midas Touch: The Effects of Interpersonal Touch on Restaurant Tipping“

It is human nature, we need certain touches for our wellbeing and react positively to them.

Progressing With Kino

Later on, you could also touch her hand by pointing out the size difference to your hands, or when you need to hurry to cross the street.

How about palm reading? A great opportunity to tell her about your trip to some spiritual place and grab her hand.
You see, again, there are many possibilities.

Think of it like a scale. When you’re just two strangers, you just said hi to each other, you’re at 1.
But now when you touch her hand, for example, you slowly climb up on that scale. Kino gets used to your touches, and it makes her feel more comfortable with you. At the same time, it makes you more comfortable with naturally touching her, as well.

A great side-effect is, that it will be much easier later on to kiss her instead of going from 0 to 100 at her doorstep. When you just had normal conversations for the last couple of hours, and all of a sudden you try to kiss her, it will be an awkward moment. And that is because you didn’t climb up on that scale. It is comparable to getting kissed by a friendly acquaintance that you had a nice chat with for a while. You’d be surprised, too.

You have to make everything look like it’s not a big deal. That’s when women say, “Oh yeah, it was kind of magical, things just happened, you know.”
But no, they don’t just happen.
In this case, it’s the man initiating things in a very smooth way, slowly climbing up on that scale, so it all feels natural. No sudden and awkward attempts. Step by step.

You don’t wait for the last moment of the night to go from 0 to 100 to lean in for a kiss, hoping she will invite you upstairs immediately. That’s how you make it a very big deal, raise tension, and make things awkward.

An old book from the year 2000 already talks about those kinesthetic moves and their importance for dating. The legendary pickup guru Mystery wrote in “The Mystery Method“”:

“[…] there is a natural flow of kino from the very early stages of the set that leads all the way to the sex. It should be seamless: a series of small, naturally executed moments, few of which ever stick out in any remarkable way. She feels like it’s just a natural connection. Thus the kino begins in the early stages of the set and escalates from there.”

Mystery in “The Mystery Method“

Another iconic figure in the whole dating tips and manosphere scene, Rolo Tomassi, writes in “The Rational Male – The Players Handbook“:

“Casual Kino is easy to understand, but Strategic Kino is an art. Recall that physical touch engenders biochemical changes in a person – oxytocin, positive endorphins, reducing stress, or stimulating arousal – this is the basis of Strategic Kino.”

Rolo Tomassi in “The Rational Male – The Players Handbook“

So let’s say everything works out fine. You like each other, and you also touched her lightly a few times, maybe she reacted with positive body language…

Now we come to the next step and the third tip that I have for you.
This will get you to the kiss without making it awkward.

3) The Easiest Way To Get To A Kiss

Sometimes there are moments on a date where you just sense it…
She gives you obvious signs, or maybe she makes a comment that makes it clear she likes you.
You can tell she is waiting for it.

Sometimes this happens, and you can just lean in and kiss her. Boom.

But what if that does not happen?

Many guys dwell on certain thoughts if they’re on a date with a girl they like.
What if I’d just try to kiss her?
What if she moves away?
If she says something weird?
If she screams and throws her drink in my face?…
Something along those lines.

No matter how much you tell yourself beforehand to man up and just do it, those kinds of questions will probably be in your head.

So, I found this little gem that works fantastic for me.
You’re on a date, and you are somewhere in the place of “Not sure if she likes me…maybe there were some signs…maybe not…”

Try this:
Just ask the question, “Are you a good kisser?”.

Let me explain again.

You can say this at any point during the date. So it doesn’t matter if you met 2 hours ago and things are going sideways, or if you hit it off after just 20 minutes.

It doesn’t matter if you just spoke about your favorite food, the optimal rep range for a nice chest workout, or China’s foreign policies. Whenever there’s a small pause, whenever you think about what’s the next thing that you could say, you can drop this question and change the whole interaction in a positive direction.

It truly is a fantastic move, in my opinion.

If you’re having a good night, she’ll probably smile and giggle, maybe feel a bit shy that you ask so straightforwardly.
Just lean in and kiss her.

What else could happen?
No girl will answer with “No.”
Who would admit that they are bad kissers, right?

Maybe she says, “Yes, I am.”.
And you can say, “Let’s see” or “Let me try” and then kiss her. Boom.

Same for when she would answer, “I don’t know…”.

No matter what, the topic will come to kissing. You make it clear that you are not looking for a platonic friend here. You are looking to date this girl. You showed balls. It comes across as very confident.

At the same time, you are not putting everything on the line and potentially make it awkward by just leaning in, or even worse, by asking for permission to kiss her (need I remind you of those countless statements of women that they want men to take the initiative?).

The beautiful thing is that you can turn around any situation with this.

One of my personal experiences

I was on a date with a girl, and everything was ok, but we were just talking. Nothing has happened yet—no obvious signs or comments from her side, basically no reaction in any way to Kino as well.

Sometimes you get subtle clues that you can read in her body language, especially if you have some experience from being on a few dates. But nothing in this case. I couldn’t tell how she felt about the whole thing.

So we were sitting in a bar and there was some live music playing. We watched the musicians, talked a bit here and there…but that was it. Flying sparks look different.

I went to the toilet, took a look in the mirror, and some thoughts went through my head about this situation…

I’ve spent a couple of hours with this girl here. At the moment, this could go in any direction. Will I end up going home with her? Will it just be some more chitchat, and then we will go in different directions and never see each other again?
What will happen next?

I have to initiate the next step. I cannot just be idle. In half an hour, she’ll say, “I’m tired. I have to go home.”

So I said to myself, “Yeah, I have nothing to lose here, right? There is only one way to find out and to turn this thing in a good direction…”

So I went back to the table, sat down, and she just looked at me for a moment, then back at the band playing.

I said, “Hey.”
She looks back at me.
“Are you a good kisser?”

All of a sudden, her whole posture changed. Her eyes got bigger, she smiled and said, “Do you want to try?”

Just as if she would have waited for it. As if it had been secretly on her mind for the last hour or so.

I leaned in and kissed her.

At this point, you know, you can put your hand on her leg, you can put her arm around her, and all of that, because if you kiss each other, all those steps before will come easy, too now.

A few minutes after we kissed, she said, “So, are you going to stay with me tonight?”

Everything changed because of this little question. This little situation that I created.

So, there you go, champs. I hope this will help you, as it helped me, too. Try it out for yourself and let me know what happened.

See you in the next post!