We all know how important it is to work out for various reasons. But I will tell you about a benefit that I never thought about before I started to work out but which became one of the most important aspects for me. Let’s discover the principle of the growth-seeking voice.
So here’s my story.
Personal Motivation to Start Working Out
I was never really into working out and having big muscles. Basically my whole life I was always a skinny dude. I got into working out just now in my 30s because a physical therapist told me that my posture is not the best and I should do something about it.
Also around the same time, that was the breakup with my ex-girlfriend which came with a lot of changes and I knew I needed to implement some new things in my life.
So I watched some Fitness channels and started to work out at home during quarantine.
After a little while, I actually got into it and my body felt different.
Discovering the Benefits
I liked this feeling so I got more and more into it I watched more channels.
I learned, that it’s not just a better posture or bigger muscles that the girls would like. I learned that it just gives you a very good feeling. Not just physically but also mentally.
I heard many people in podcasts say it’s very hard to be depressed when you’re physically active, so when you go for a run or when you do a workout, you would naturally feel better if you felt bad before.
Physical and Mental Well-being
I realized that this is true I felt the same way but here’s what I learned:
It’s not just because it makes you feel better physically or mentally.
It also trains your mind.
And that’s the important part.
You train your mind to become more disciplined and that became huge for me.
Overcoming Difficult Situations
Now when I had to face a workout and I didn’t feel like it, I told myself that this is not just for my body, this is also for my mind, this is training for my head to overcome difficult situations.
It is something that not many people think about when they talk about workouts, but you actually train your mind to overcome the feeling of “hey, this sucks, I don’t want to do it.”
Training the Mind Through Workouts
But it actually means it is something that you don’t want to do in that moment because you’re comfortable. But it would be very beneficial for you in the future if you make it a habit, if you keep doing it regularly.
“Oh, I don’t feel like it” gets overwritten by “Okay, all right, it sucks, but I will get through it. I know it’s good for me. I will do this without thinking about how I feel about it. This is the right thing to do. Let’s go!”
The Battle Between Comfort and Growth
I think of it like there are two voices in my head: there’s a comfort-seeking voice and there’s a growth-seeking voice. In some moments, you can hear the growth-seeking voice in your head, especially when we are motivated for a while. You know exactly what to do, and you are extremely eager to go after it.
You feel like, “Yes, that’s what I want to do. Tomorrow, I will start. Let’s go!” But then, when the moment comes, when it really matters, when tomorrow comes and when the action is necessary, the comfort-seeking voice is back all of a sudden. And then, it wins because comfort feels so damn yummy.
The mistake is that we got used to asking ourselves, “Do I feel like it? Can I gather enough motivation to get my ass off?” And this is already the wrong move.
Overcoming Hesitation and Starting
Those are the times when you set off the alarm and go back to sleep, when you are hungry and the ice cream bucket looks so much better than the salad or the healthy food that you have in your fridge, when the couch feels so much more comfortable than your running shoes.
The comfort-seeking voice wins when it’s important. The growth-seeking voice will come back later when you do completely other things, when you’re occupied in your life and you feel like, “Hey, you really want to achieve something or you want to acquire this thing or that knowledge.”
So, I learned that working out trains my mind to shrink and silence that comfort-seeking voice and to just, without asking myself how I feel about it right now, to just follow that growth-seeking voice.
It is the same with cold showers, for example. You know they are good for your health, for your immune system. But there’s this little moment before you turn the temperature up where you ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this right now? It will feel uncomfortable and all of those things, right?” And that is the comfort-seeking voice.
I heard this from other people too who are doing cold showers and cold plunges, right? The voice is there that says, “I don’t do it. Stay in the warmth, and it’s nice and cozy here, right?” But you kind of train to just let it go, just like the thoughts, right? When you do meditation, you train yourself to just let thoughts go and to not make you feel like you are those thoughts, have some distance to those thoughts, and just let them go. They’re not your personality, they are not you.
And it’s the same thing with that comfort-seeking voice. It’s not you.
You let it go because you know it’s the right thing to do.
You know it’s good, even if there’s an uncomfortable moment when you turn them up, right? But you train yourself to follow that growth-seeking voice, and you will often find out that this little moment where you want to hesitate, this little moment where the comfort-seeking voice comes in, oftentimes this is the worst moment. If you overcome that little moment, it gets better.
And it’s the same with training when you start working out. The worst part of it, the biggest hurdle, is to get started. Is that first push-up, is the first pull-up, is to get your shoes on and get outside, and to take the first few steps. Those are the most important things, but those are also the hardest things, especially if you want to build habits and do it regularly.
And that’s why James Clear says in his book, “Atomic Habits,” to make your habits tiny, as tiny as possible. So this hurdle, this first moment, won’t be that big, it won’t be that hard to overcome. And it’s basically like this: showing up to things that suck but that are good for you in the long term. This is when growth happens.
So, for example, cold showers – good for your immune system, muscle tears when you work out – it’s good for muscle growth, running – good for the cardiovascular system, approaching a lot of women – to get rid of your approaching anxiety, all of those things, right? So there are many examples where you overcome your comfort-seeking voice and listen to your growth-seeking voice instead, and then it actually makes you better, you grow stronger, it brings you forward in life. And that’s why it’s a good thing to train to listen to that voice and to just let that comfort-seeking voice to don’t give it much attention, not much space.
And there’s an important part: there is always suffering.
Suffering and Discipline
One of my favorite quotes is from the author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn, who writes,
Jim Rohn“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”
You will either suffer from the pain of seeking the uncomfortable on a regular basis, or you will suffer from the regrets and the ‘what could have, should have, would have’ been game.” Jim Rohn’s quote actually goes on: “discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.”
The first books that come to my mind when I think about how hard things are training our mind are David Goggins’ books, “Can’t Hurt Me” and “Never Finished“.
Inspiration from David Goggins
He basically tells his life story in both books and makes you understand how the seeking of hardship will develop and strengthen your mind and mental capabilities. And if you don’t know about him, Google this guy and the things that he has done, it’s crazy. And even he says he doesn’t like to go running, he actually hates it. And this coming from a man who is famous for doing things like being an ex-Navy SEAL. So it seems crazy, but he does all of this to callous his mind, as he says.
Callousing the Mind
For me, it’s interesting to note that also some other people who get up extremely early that they hate getting up early. And yet they do it because they hate it even more to be lazy and lay in bed or to attack the day half-heartedly. So in “Can’t Hurt Me” David Goggins writes:
David Goggins in “Can’t Hurt Me”“The sole reason I work out like I do isn’t to prepare for and win ultra races. I don’t have an athletic motive at all. It’s to prepare my mind for life itself. Life will always be the most grueling endurance sport, and when you train hard, get uncomfortable, and callous your mind, you will become a more versatile competitor, trained to find a way forward no matter what.”
And if you think those are just some words, you should really do some research on that guy because it really is crazy. In Can’t Hurt Me, he goes on to write,
“The reason it’s important to push hardest when you want to quit the most is because it helps you callous your mind. It’s the same reason why you have to do your best work when you are the least motivated. That’s why I loved PT in BUD/S and why I still love it today. Physical challenges strengthen my mind so I’m ready for whatever life throws at me, and it will do the same for you.”
David Goggins in “Can’t Hurt Me”
Pushing Beyond Limits
Goggins famously compares our bodies to cars, which have a governor inside that limits the flow of fuel and air. A car won’t get too hot, but the performance has a ceiling.
If you could remove that governor, you could drive faster with your car.
Goggins writes that, in his opinion, it is a similar thing with the human mind and our physical capabilities. There are voices in our heads that limit our potential, and this is the same place where that comfort-seeking voice comes from. It says it’s enough, we can’t do more, let’s relax, let’s lay down, chill.
Goggins goes to an extreme with that growth-seeking voice.
He learned to follow this voice at any cost, and he became famous because of this. So, this whole car governor thing, he calls it the 40% rule. When you think you can’t go further, you actually still have 60% in the tank if you can just overcome this inner governor.
He writes:
“I know how it feels to be approaching an energetic dead end. I’ve been there too many times to count. I understand the temptation to sell short, but I also know that impulse is driven by your mind’s desire for comfort, and it’s not telling you the truth. It’s your identity trying to find sanctuary, not help you grow.
David Goggins in “Can’t Hurt Me”
It’s looking for status quo, not reaching for greatness or seeking wholeness. But the software update that you need to shut your governor down is no supersonic download. It takes twenty years to gain twenty years of experience, and the only way to move beyond your 40 percent is to callous your mind, day after day. Which means you’ll have to chase pain like it’s your damn job!”
So what I’m talking about here is not even going to this extreme like David Goggins, but slowly start listening to the growth-seeking voice and at least show up to start that run, to get down for those push-ups, to do whatever it is that your growth-seeking voice tells you.
When you listen to it, the moment you start is the single most important part of it because once you get going, it’s easier to keep doing it.
I always imagine a locomotive here, at the start is hard, you need a lot of energy to get the locomotive going, it’s very heavy, and it’s a slow start, but once it’s started, to keep going is actually easier.
Embracing Discomfort
Goggins goes on in his book:
“The first step is to remember that your initial blast of pain and fatigue is your governor talking. Once you do that, you are in control of the dialogue in your mind, and you can remind yourself that you are not as drained as you think. That you haven’t given it your all. Not even close. Buying into that will keep you in the fight, and that’s worth an extra 5 percent.”
David Goggins in “Can’t Hurt Me”
So the point here is, in Goggins’ words, do something that sucks every day.
If you’re interested to read about someone who has a long history of overcoming the limitations of our minds and basically dedicated his life to it, I highly recommend you to read “Can’t Hurt Me” and “Never Finished” by David Goggins.
It’s very inspirational, and you will not regret it.
But those are not the only books where I read about how physical exercise, among other things, is also training your mind to overcome resistance and hardships in life.
Books on Overcoming Resistance
There’s David H. Wagner, who writes in “Backbone”:
“Make friends with challenge. Start consciously doing hard things for the sake of making yourself stronger. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Have honest conversations, even if you’re scared shitless. Take risks, live your vision. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.“
David H. Wagner in “Backbone”
One of the best books that I read in 2022 was “The Comfort Crisis” by Michael Easter, who basically wrote a whole book about the problem of comfort and how the intentional challenging of our limits can expand our lives in many different ways.
For sure, I will talk more about this book in future videos. And here, I will share with you a part where he writes about his encounter with Jason McCarthy and quotes him:
“Doing physically hard things is an enormous life hack. Do hard things and the rest of life gets easier and you appreciate it all the more,” McCarthy said.
Michael Easter in “The Comfort Crisis”
“Not doing physically hard things gets us all out of whack. The data is overwhelming in terms of our need to sweat, to be outside, to be part of a community. I’m not saying anything new here. I’m just reminding us of how we’re hardwired. What’s new today is that physically hard stuff is a novelty.”
And when I read this, it reminded me of Joe Rogan, who stated a few times in his podcast that he endures hard things like workouts and ice baths not just for the physical benefits, but also to be able to better deal with hard things that he encounters in day-to-day life.
And speaking of ice baths, there’s also author Aubrey Marcus, who writes in his book “Own the Day, Own Your Life“:
“While the benefits of inflammation and stress are vital, the thing that really sets cold exposure apart from other forms of hormesis is the mental edge it provides. In the smithy of life, cold exposure is the anvil against which your character is shaped and your resolve is hardened (one might say that deliberate, conscious breathing is the hammer that does the shaping), so that you might confront your chronic stress and conquer it more completely.”
Aubrey Marcus in “Own the Day, Own Your Life”
Later, he also writes:
“Character and resolve are two traits that rarely get tested in modern society, and they tend to atrophy as a result. Resolve, especially, is at the heart of why we let chronic stress steal our life force and why we struggle from our first waking moments to take ownership of our days.”
Aubrey Marcus in “Own the Day, Own Your Life”
The last book I want to mention here is “Embrace the Suck” by Navy SEAL combat veteran Brent Gleason. In the forward of this book, it is again David Goggins again who writes:
“Our minds are the most powerful weapon we have at our disposal. But often, our greatest tools can be exactly what stands in the way of overcoming adversity and achieving extraordinary accomplishments. If you can’t learn to control your mind, you’ll forever be a slave to its evil limitations.“
David Goggins in Brent Gleason’s book “Embrace the Suck”
So, this shows you that it’s crucial to not listen to the comfort-seeking voice that says your body feels tired, but to the growth-seeking voice which doesn’t even ask if you feel like doing this or that, in that specific moment.
Of course, differentiate between the feelings of laziness and comfort and your body actually needing a break before breaking down.
This also means not everybody should try to become a David Goggins.
He also writes in the forward of the book:
“We all have the ability to master our minds. But our brains are wired with defense mechanisms for avoiding pain and hardship, for staying well within the confines of our comfort zone. Our minds have a tendency to force us into a sheltered existence.“
David Goggins in Brent Gleason’s book “Embrace the Suck”
Brent Gleason, the author of the book who is following the same mindset as Goggins, gives us a few great quotes in his book:
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
Buddhist Proverb
This again states that we can basically choose our suffering.
He goes on with:
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
Kahlil Gibran
Encountering hard times or tasks is necessary for growth. If you channel it right, it will make you better and stronger. If life is comfortable, we should deliberately seek out those challenges because otherwise, there won’t be growth. Would it be worth living a life where you don’t grow in certain aspects of your life anymore, with the same experiences? Because then, as they say, you basically live the same day thousands of times until you die.
Brent Gleason writes in his book:
“We aren’t born with self-discipline; it’s a learned behavior. And just like any other skill you want to master, it requires daily practice and repetition. It must become habitual.”
Brent Gleason in “Embrace the Suck”
Of course, we will slip. Of course, we will sometimes lose the battle against our minds, and comfort will win. But is there anyone who’s never lazy?
Do people like David Goggins enjoy a night with Netflix from time to time and then just don’t tell anybody about it? It is hard to say, but I just think that we should practice following our growth-seeking voice more often. If it is just once a day that we take a different turn when it comes to the question of comfort versus growth, we would still end up in a very different spot a few years from now.
And to end this with Brent Gleason’s words:
“If you just embrace the suck and the good problems that will undoubtedly follow, you’ll eventually find greatness, whatever your definition of that is.”
Brent Gleason in “Embrace the Suck”
So guys, if you have anything to add here, please write it in the comments.
If you had the same experiences with working out, if you have other books about how to train your mind and your willpower, let me know about it, and I’m happy to see you soon.
